WAHLS DIARY: Day 1ish 09/18/2015

I was diagnosed with MS a few weeks ago.

Since then I've been to the doctor about 12 times in less then a month. My heart testing, which happens every 5 years, happens to fall in the same period where I am suddenly being closely watched for my newly discovered autoimmune disease. Life has been.... shaky during this september month of 2015.

I was lucky enough to see a neurologist, Dr. Hrebicek, soon after my diagnosis. I drove down to Victoria for an 8:50 appointment with her. I felt moody, grumpy and angry upon entering her office in the early hours. I was stuck in a traffic jam for hours before hitting Oak Bay where I grabbed an unsatisfying coffee from a hip cafe, couldnt find an internet connection to google map the doc office and had to pay for parking when I arrived. It was the first day of school or something for all these rich little kids and again, it was a difficult situation to drive in. when I met Dr. Hrebicek she sensed my mood, and unprofessionally began to match it until we got in a verbal arguement.

Luckily we talked it out... for three hours. In the end I apologized, twice, for me negative attitude upon which our relationship began. I explained my honest truth- that I am worried, newly diagnosed and feeling as though I've been forgotten and ignored my doctors up to this point. She gave a sort of apology through action, by lending me a book to read called The Wahls Protocol. So far, this book has given me more hope and encouragement then I could for so early into my diagnosis. I've already given up diary, gluten, and sugar simply based on the knowledge I now have of what it could do to me.

Ok but lets begin!

How do you feel today? Be specific.

I woke up, deciding whether to go to yoga or mcnab farm. i chose yoga and felt goof about that. after yoga felt moody. went to buzz coffee and stayed pretty introverted. called telus and changed cell and internet details. went to docs appointment for 10.

felt emotional at docs appointment and began to cry. left and came to crace. waited for Mom. she came and we walked to the Projects. she bought me lunch and offered to pay for medical. so kind of her and my Dad to offer.

What did you do just for yourself today?

I went to yoga. i ate a salad and had a matcha latte. i listed 16 things on etsy while drinking white wine. i missed half my radio show to work on etsy. i worked on etsy after radio show.

Did you eercise today? What did you do? How did it feel?
Yes I went to a moksha yoga class at 6:30am. it felt great. I remember thinking 'i should do this every day'

For whom or what are you grateful? What matters most in your life?
I'm grateful for my parents, they help me and support me through the toughest times. i must stay strong for them. I am grateful for my friends: katie, sandy, will, alex. they were all great today.

My mission in life is to inspire as many people as i can. I want to start an MS podcast.

Today my left arm was very numb and tingy from the hours between 4-7. This was the end of the radio show and walk over to the Projects.

Stress level was.. too high for no reason.

I had a double americano for breaky, 12oz matcha latte for lunch with 'taco salad' from powerhouse
3 glasses of wine
coccaine
binged when i got home: yams, potato, cabbage, almond butter, stale tortilla chips, spicy slasa and now i feel like shit

i need more water

my bloody vagina stinks

i'm tired.

JUPITER SMUT: EPISODE 1

This show is called Jupiter Smut.

I'm Jup, and the ramblings you're about to hear are highly personal.

Personal in a way that you know all too well, in your own conversations between your mind and yourself. The thoughts you tend to forget to record, the thoughts you forget to say aloud.

The moments that stick to you like scars, or disappear, like an eyelash.

This lecture is called Doctors Appointments.

Case 12: Visual Testing

It's 10am on a Friday. You were at this Nanaimo General hospital a lot last month. You had this weird feeling you were getting to know it's hallways too well. You had this clairvoyant feeling that some day you'd get to know it's hallways too well.

You were there visiting a friend- well, more then a friend- under a sign labelled Psychiatric Care: Ground Floor. you remember the doors you had to buzz to enter, and when you'd enter you'd watch the living dead bodies you found on the other side float around you like . But those days are over now. And now, you're sitting under the sign that always intriqued you most, the sign you always noticed while you were leaving the hospital, the sign labelled: Neurology.

Dr. Fabian shifts in front of you and asks: Jalene Plamondon? Right this way.

You look into his soft brown eyes and nod. While you finish your text he mentions that the appointment is for 3 hours and no cell phones are allowed. You send off one lastmessage and enter a cold silver handled beige door. why the hell are these neutral tones so admired in these modern times? you think: the millenial aesthetic is bogus.

test 1: stare at a red square while a bunch of white and black squares move outside of it.

this looks more to you like minimalist contemperary art and you feel like you've hit the jackpot of neurological tests. the electircal currents wired to your head fire off as your eyes skip beats and within 2 minutes your done. well,  your done that test.

Next your head, neck, shoulders, lower back,  knees, behind your knees, ankles and your hips are wired up to an unfriendly machinery that zaps an electrical shock into you at level 12 out of 88 levels. it feels like a sharp, mean, fucking mean needle shooting into that exposed vein in your wrist you were alwyas cautious of people touching.

you eyes involuntrily well up and when he asks if you're all right you choke out a "i'm fine, this is my own psychological bullshit" cry cry cry baby cry.

He starts talking about how hes taking a vacation. Yes, thats right, a vacation, to Victoria to help his church and his chicken farming parents run a christian garage sale. Yawn. You stop crying and you look at this man, and the story begins to formulate. you visualize this man on his 15 minute lunch breaks, logging onto myfreecams and stroking his penis to sexy blonde russian women being unintelligable. you notice this thought and render yourself vague for a lack of words to express this thought you've began....

two hours later the tests are finished. your listing vintage items online with your Mom drinking hot cane sugar sweetened beverages in a naturally well lit loft. your at a radio show writing a facebook event for this very show. you're exposing your thoughts yo an inriguing crowd of beautifully, exposed, humans. You, folks, are all beautifully intriguing humans. AND! if you we're listening close to any of this. to all of this, you're invisted to ask personal questions after the show. AND NOW! Acoustic live music by the loves of your lives. Goodnight, from Jupiter Smut, your chaotic dose of